My Lenten Prayer

My Lenten Prayer

O Lord and Ruler of Life, take from me the spirit of idleness, despair, cupidity, and empty talking. Yea, O Lord grant that I may see my own sins and not judge my brother. For thou art blessed forever and ever. Amen.

I cannot live my vocation if my time is taken with idleness and empty talking. Even talking about motherhood, homemaking, and God himself can be empty talking if I talk (or write) about it and I neglect to do it. Time on earth is finite. The days of childhood are numbered. Distracted mothers are a curse to their children.

Idleness and empty talking. They hit me hard. And that is why I've chosen to give up Facebook during this Lenten season. That I may become more disciplined with how I spend my time.

The Domestic Monastery

"Mommy, can you read this story for me?"
"Listen to my song, Mom"
"Can we play kitchen?"
"I'm hungry, Mommy"
"Where does water come from?"
Never-ending questions. One request after another. Sometimes, it feels like the day was filled with nothing but these "interruptions." Or are they really interruptions?

I received this article in an email. This is a good reminder for all of us mothers, especially those that stay home to care for our children. May we find that these "interruptions" are really reminders of the greater task at hand. May these reminders bring us to greater holiness, acknowledging that our time isn't really ours but God's.

The Domestic Monastery ...

Ron Rolheiser OMI
January 7, 2001

Carlo Carretto, one of the leading spiritual writers of the past half-century, lived for more than a dozen years as a hermit in the Sahara desert. Alone, with only the Blessed Sacrament for company milking a goat for his food, and translating the bible into the local Bedouin language, he prayed for long hours by himself. Returning to Italy one day to visit his mother, he came to a startling realization: His mother, who for more than thirty years of her life had been so busy raising a family that she scarcely ever had a private minute for herself, was more contemplative than he was.

Carretto, though, was careful to draw the right lesson from this. What this taught was not that there was anything wrong with what he had been doing in living as a hermit. The lesson was rather that there was something wonderfully right about what his mother had been doing all these years as she lived the interrupted life amidst the noise and incessant demands of small children. He had been in a monastery, but so had she.

What is a monastery? A monastery is not so much a place set apart for monks and nuns as it is a place set apart (period). It is also a place to learn the value of powerlessness and a place to learn that time is not ours, but God's.

Our home and our duties can, just like a monastery, teach us those things. John of the Cross once described the inner essence of monasticism in these words: "But they, O my God and my life, will see and experience your mild touch, who withdraw from the world and become mild, bringing the mild into harmony with the mild, thus enabling themselves to experience and enjoy you." What John suggests here is that two elements make for a monastery: withdrawal from the world and bringing oneself into harmony with the mild.

Although he was speaking about the vocation of monastic monks and nuns, who physically withdraw from the world, the principle is equally valid for those of us who cannot go off to monasteries and become monks and nuns. Certain vocations offer the same kind of opportunity for contemplation. They too provide a desert for reflection.

For example, the mother who stays home with small children experiences a very real withdrawal from the world. Her existence is definitely monastic. Her tasks and preoccupations remove her from the centres of power and social importance. And she feels it. Moreover her sustained contact with young children (the mildest of the mild) gives her a privileged opportunity to be in harmony with the mild, that is, to attune herself to the powerlessness rather than to the powerful.

Moreover, the demands of young children also provide her with what St. Bernard, one of the great architects of monasticism, called the "monastic bell". All monasteries have a bell. Bernard, in writing his rules for monasticism, told his monks that whenever the monastic bell rang, they were to drop whatever they were doing and go immediately to the particular activity (prayer, meals, work, study, sleep) to which the bell was summoning them. He was adamant that they respond immediately, stating that if they were writing a letter they were to stop in mid-sentence when the bell rang. The idea in his mind was that when the bell called, it called you to the next task and you were to respond immediately, not because you want to, but because it's time for that task and time isn't your time, it's God's time. For him, the monastic bell was intended as a discipline to stretch the heart by always taking you beyond your own agenda to God's agenda.

Hence, a mother raising children, perhaps in a more privileged way even than a professional contemplative, is forced, almost against her will, to constantly stretch her heart. For years, while raising children, her time is never her own, her own needs have to be kept in second place, and every time she turns around a hand is reaching out and demanding something. She hears the monastic bell many times during the day and she has to drop things in mid-sentence and respond, not because she wants to, but because it's time for that activity and time isn't her time, but God's time. The rest of us experience the monastic bell each morning when our alarm clock rings and we get out of bed and ready ourselves for the day, not because we want to, but because it's time.

The principles of monasticism are time-tested, saint-sanctioned, and altogether-trustworthy. But there are different kinds of monasteries, different ways of putting ourselves into harmony with the mild, and different kinds of monastic bells. Response to duty can monastic prayer, a needy hand can be a monastic bell, and working without status and power can constitute a withdrawal into a monastery where God can meet us. The domestic can be the monastic.

Motherhood

Motherhood

A dear friend had her baby about 3 weeks ago. I am beyond thrilled for these new parents. This picture was taken during her baby shower in March. She is celebrating her 30th birthday today and what a gift this baby is, don't you think?
I've visited her a few times to bring her meals. I know how much help it is to not have to think about what you will have for dinner when you're sleep-deprived. I feel like an older sister to her. To be able to share some of the things I've learned through the years feels great. I don't have a sister of my own so I feel this is my chance to be pass on some mothering advice. My bottomline mothering advice? Listen to the advice given you but listen more to what your heart tells you. I've read a lot of books. I've listened to other mothers. I've watched other parents. There are a lot of theories on parenting. Some may work for you. Some may not. Mothers know their children best and should decide to do what is best for their children. I think that what's important is knowing ahead of time the values you want instilled in your children. How to teach those values may differ from child to child. I've discovered that even with my own children, what works well for one child will not necessarily be as effective for another. This will be true whether you are seeking relief for a colicky baby or searching for school options for your school-aged child or researching acnepril reviews for your acne-prone teenager. Keeping your eyes on God's will while listening with your heart to your child will allow you to move in the right direction. Yes, it's much easier said than done. Self-doubt can creep in for sure. We are bound to make mistakes. But I think that we make mistakes when we fail to do one of both of the things I just mentioned: looking to God & listening to your child.
My friend is right at the beginning of her journey to motherhood. I am a few years ahead of her. A lot of other mothers are far more advanced. There is one truth I know for sure: Once we've started our journey, it will only stop at the moment we breathe our last.

Mothering Advice

Mothering Advice

I read this blog post last week and could not stop nodding my head in agreement. It is nice to be reminded of the important things once in a while.

Faith & Family Live! : This Mother's Rule of Ten

1. Touch them. It’s easy to get physical with your kids when their dimpled bottoms and chubby cheeks are just begging for you to pinch and hug them. When kids get older, though, it can be surprisingly easy to fall into a habit of skipping regular touches. Of course we moms are limited in what some of our big kids will allow, but we should make a good effort to show physical affection to each of our kids every day. Kiss them goodbye and goodnight. Put your arm around their shoulders. Offer hugs. Tousle their hair. Engage in some playful wrestling, even. Touch matters.

2. See them. In the blur of busy family life, it can be easy to lose sight of little details. Make an effort to really look at your kids and take in some of their tiny details every day. Gaze at the baby’s toes, note the greenness of your son’s eyes, and take in the graceful curve of the back of your daughter’s neck. They are fearfully and wonderfully made, these children of ours. We should pause every now and then to recognize that.

3. Hear them. Do you look your kids in the eye when they speak to you? This is not always possible, of course, but our kids really feel their worth when they don’t have to compete with a telephone, TV, or computer screen for our attention. If a child is telling you something, it’s worth interrupting whatever you are doing to look him in the eye and listen. Hard (at least for me) but definitely worth attempting.

4. Praise them. We sometimes get in a habit of only noticing and pointing out the negatives in our daily routines. We tell our kids what they forgot, what they neglected to do, and all the little ways they can improve. But children crave affirmation and approval from their parents. Shouldn’t the underlying theme of our daily interactions be one of unconditional love and acceptance? Even if there are negatives to talk about, make sure to look for and point out the positives—even the small stuff—on an ongoing basis.

5. Laugh with them. Laughter is a great stress reliever. Even when things feel their un-funniest, we can look for a way to poke fun at ourselves. We parents often take ourselves way too seriously. And guess what? Family life is funny. Don’t be afraid to loosen up and get a little goofy with your kids now and then.

6. Break the rules. Some of the most fun memories I have of time spent with my kids are the times when we “broke the rules” a bit. I let them stay up late or eat too much junk food or watch too much TV. As long as we are usually meeting the guidelines we set for ourselves, it can be a great change of pace and an easy way to make an event feel “special” when we make exceptions to our own rules and spend some time enjoying “indulgences” together.

7. Give them to God. Our kids belong to God first and foremost. In the busy-ness of our day to day living, however, we can fall into the habit of thinking everything—from their grades to their wardrobes to their dental health—falls on our shoulders. Remembering that God loves our children even more perfectly than we do and wants only what is best for them can relieve us of needless worry and anxiety. Give your kids back to God. And ask Him for the grace to help you raise them.

8. Decide what’s best for your family. And then just do it. Get comfortable in your own skin. You don’t have to raise your kids exactly like you were raised and you don’t have to do things like your neighbors do—even if you admire them. God made lots of different kinds of good Catholic families that live out the faith in lots of different kinds of ways. Find what works for you and ... go forth with confidence!

9. Love their dad. Children feel secure and loved when they see their parents loving one another. Give your kids the gift of a family founded on a happy, loving marital relationship. Let them see you loving their father and never let them hear you put him down, especially when you are angry.

10. Pray for them. Even if you pray with your kids, it’s important to remember to pray for them as well. Pray for their future spouses and vocations. Pray to their guardian angels for protection. And let them know you are praying for them in little things too. Telling them or leaving them a note that says “I prayed for you to do well on your test today” or “I have been praying that you will solve the problem you are having with your friend” will be encouraging to your kids—even if they are reluctant to admit it.

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What resonated with you? Personally, I feel I have to be better at #3. More often than not, I hear them along with all the other sounds that make up a family of 6. I really have to make time to look them in the eye and stop and listen and not always have to go, go, go.

If there was something I would add, it would be to enjoy them as they are now at the age they are. Sometimes, I pine for the baby days when they did not make as much of a mess or there was more peace and quiet in the house. Sometimes, I wished they were a little older because it seems like it's going to be so much easier to handle. In the meantime, I forget to enjoy them at they stage/age they are in. Before I know, they've passed that age and I wish I had enjoyed it more.So, yeah, I'm learning to enjoy them as they are.

'Twas a Dry Day

'Twas a Dry Day

I don't wanna jinx anything but DD3 has managed to stay dry the whole day!!! Woohoo!! Yep, even when she took a nap. In the past, she would manage to keep herself dry in the morning but would ask to put back her diapers/pull-ups when she would get ready for her nap. I've tried to keep her diaper-free through her afternoon nap but always ended up wetting the bed - until today!!! I am sooo excited! Do I see the end of the diaper era in our home? LOL!

I'm actually pretty laid-back when it comes to potty-training the kids. I feel that when they're ready, the process does not become stressful. I've noticed that DD3 had been ready for a while now. I let her walk around the house uncovered because it was only then that she would go to the toilet when she needed to. When she was covered up (diapers or undies), she would not go to the toilet. There were a couple of times that she would walk in bath room too late but still insist on sitting down.

Well, it seems like she was finally ready today. I am happy, of course, but can't help but feel a little sentimental - my kids are growing up!!! Sigh...

I Can't Stop Smiling

I Can't Stop Smiling

Today was the perfect day to catch up on my chores. The 2 older kids were in school. DH took the 2 younger ones to Riverside to visit Grandma. My plan was to get some of my chores done in the morning, hit the grocery store for my weekly shopping trip, pick up DD1 from school, head home, have lunch, finish up my chores for the day, pick up DS from school and get our afternoon/evening routine done.

Some of it got done.

I was able to get a load of laundry washed and hung out to dry.
I got my grocery shopping done.
The rest of my chores remained undone.

I picked up DD1 from school as planned and did my grocery shopping after picking her up instead of before. I asked her if we could have a late lunch instead. She agreed.

"Can we have our special time today?" she asked.
"Sure," I answered.
"Can we go to the park?"
"We'll see if we have time."
She smiled at me and held my hand as we entered the grocery store.

I bought her a smoothie at Jamba Juice to tide her over. After shopping, we drove thru McDonalds and shared a meal. I had the burger. She had the fries. We went to the park to have our lunch. Of course she finished as fast as she could eat since she wanted to play. After eating, I joined her in the playground. We rode the swings together. I even climbed up the wobbly ladder as she tried to hold it steady so Mommy would not fall. I went down the slide behind her. We stayed in the park longer than I had planned. But it was all good. She was having fun. I was enjoying her company too.

We had barely gotten home when it was time to pick up DS from school already. Sigh. No other chores done.

I left DD1 with Lolo to pick up DS and decided to swing by the library to borrow new books. DS was ecstatic!! We spent some time looking for books. This was our special time together. Time passed by quickly and before I knew it, almost an hour had passed. We capped our "date" with a double chocolate chip frappuccino from Starbucks.

I arrived home to see the rest of my family back from Riverside. Lola was preparing dinner (Thanks Lola!). I cuddled a little bit with DD2 and admired her new haircut. Soon after, it was dinner time.

Yes, time had flown by today and it seemed like I got nothing done.

"Mommy?" DD1 whispered quietly as she knocked on my door.
"Yes, sweetheart?" I answered back.
"I'm happy we had our special time together."
"I'm so happy we spent time together too," I replied as I hugged her tight.

She left the room and immediately came back.

"What is it?" I asked.

She looked at me shyly then stood right in front of me,
"I'm so happy that I can't stop smiling!"

Right then. Right there. My heart swelled with happiness and love.
This is what motherhood is all about. This priceless moment makes everything worthwhile.

I hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear,
"Oh sweetheart, you've made me so happy that I can't stop smiling either."

Spring Cleaning

Spring Cleaning

I was doing my chores this morning when the kids decided they wanted to help me. I gave them each a rag and asked them to take charge of wiping and dusting. Of course, DD3 had to get in on the action too so she was right there with me as I vacuumed. Having her "clean" with me actually kept me on my toes. She moves quickly and thus can get into trouble rather quickly too. I think she may be the most effective of any weight loss products available in the market today! LOL!

As we were cleaning together, I just had to stop and smile. This is precisely how I want my family to be like. I want my family to enjoy being together, doing things together even if it is simply doing chores. I look at my girls really enjoying helping me. It may not last long but in their young minds, I think they know that this is part of being family.

After they wiped in the stairs, they declared that they were tired and did not want to clean anymore. As I washed their dirty rags in the sink, DD2 said, "Thanks for letting us help you clean, Mom."

Kids do enjoy helping their parents. And when they see that their help is much appreciated and valued, they are more likely to want to help again. I don't know where the idea that the moms should do all the work come from. Yes, the bulk of house work does fall on the mom or whoever stays at home to take care of the kids and home. But it does not mean that she cannot enlist the help of her kids.

One late afternoon, I felt like I kept asking DS to throw this away, to put this back, to clean this up, etc. I managed to check myself as I did not want him to feel like I was asking him to do everything. The next time I asked him to throw some recyclables in the bin, I prefaced my request with a "one last request..." He smiled at me lovingly and said, "Mom, it does not have to be the last one." And my heart melted.

I was so worried that I was encroaching on his play time that I did not realize that he was enjoying dong these things with me.

I am truly blessed.

Naturally Domesticated

Naturally Domesticated

DD1: Mom, how do you sew?
Me: Why?
DD1: Well, because {sister}'s pants has a hole in it and I want to sew it. Can you teach me how?

I was quite surprised to have this conversation with her. She is after all only 5 years old and yet already showing much interest in domesticity it seems. I can only conclude that she is naturally domesticated because she definitely is not learning that from me!

Even when she was younger, she had already shown signs of being inclined to be maternal. She has always been very nurturing towards her younger sisters. I remember that when she was a toddler, she tried to change her baby sister's diapers. I actually came into the room with her in the crib putting on the new diaper already! She continues to be "mini-Mommy" till now. Just yesterday, she comes down the stairs and tells me, "Do you know why I took so long upstairs? Because I folded my clothes and {sister}'s too."

A little bit later,

"{baby sister} made a mess with the cream cheese but don't worry Mom, I cleaned it up. First, I wet a paper towel to wipe it then a dry paper towel."

Seriously, can she get any more Mommy-like? LOL!

Mini - Me

Mini - Me

A lot of people have commented how DD1 looks so much like me - that she is such a mini-me.

I think she's waaayyy prettier. *smile*

Although I have to admit that she is proving to be a mini version of me. Aside from her features, I think she has the same personality as I do.

We are both cautious. When dealing with new people and new situations, we both prefer to step back and observe before jumping in. We seem to prefer to stay within the confines of what we know and are comfortable with than go into something that is totally new. When we absolutely *need* to try something new, we prefer to at least have something familiar to hang on to.

Last week, we were having a conversation in the car about DD1 going to Kindergarten. She was excited to go already but suddenly was saying she didn't want to go again. She was pointing out that she didn't know how to read yet, her teachers don't know her, she doesn't know her teachers, etc. etc. etc.
I stopped and asked her, "Are you nervous about going to Kindergarten?"
She says, "Yes, and I'm almost crying because of it." as she started to wipe her eyes.

My dear little daughter was so panicked by the unknown that she was in near tears. And I realized our discussion was not going to help her at this time. No amount of reasoning was going to take away the fears. She was getting too emotional.

If I weren't driving, I would have scooped her up in my arms and given her a nice big hug and assure her that everything was going to be fine.

So that's what I did when we got home. We sat down on the bed and cuddled. I assured her I was going to help her with everything she would need in Kindergarten. I hugged her tight and told her I loved her. I kissed her and reminded her of all the awesome things she could do already. I looked her in the eye and told her I believed in her and that she would do well in Kindergarten.

Then, with another big hug and an exchange of I love you's, she bounded off the bed and off to play with her sisters.

Yes, we are alike in many ways. Oftentimes, when I am uncertain and afraid, all I really need is a nice big hug, some quiet time for cuddling and the reassurance that someone believes in me and that someone loves me no matter what. Sometimes, I receive it from DH. Always, I receive it from God through prayer.

My beautiful blossoming daughter

My beautiful blossoming daughter

It was Parent-Teacher Conference at DD1's school last Friday. Her teacher was just gushing about her. She kept saying how DD1 was just really a sweetheart. She has also commented on how much DD1 has matured from last year. I had noticed that too. I am relieved that the daughter I see at home is pretty much the little girl they see in school too. I can see that she's becoming more comfortable with herself and her surroundings.

It seems like DD1's "mini-mommy" personality is showing through at school too. Her teacher commented about how very responsible she is over her personal & class items. She always lends her teachers a hand in cleaning up. She is also very caring toward her classmates.

It is quite significant to me to hear that when the teachers asked each child individually who their friend in class was, many mentioned DD1. She seems to be well-loved in class even if she's still mostly quiet compared to her classmates. Her teachers mentioned that she plays with everybody, girls and boys alike. I am pleased to hear this because it means she is not clique-ish as some girls I've seen can be even at this age.

BTW, the LO I have above is a page about how regal and ladylike I think she looks during their Halloween parade. Doesn't she look so refined in the pics? the way she's holding up her skirt and how she's looking at me? It's as if I caught a glimpse of the future DD1, all grown up.

Recipe Exchange

Recipe Exchange

The MoMs group that I am a member of is hosting a recipe exchange next month. We've invited other moms in our community to join us. We are planning to share some really quick and easy recipes. As moms, we know that preparing home-cooked meals is so difficult with the busy skeds of families nowadays.
I'm contributing 2 recipes: chicken satay for the chicken dish and Chocolate croissants for the dessert dish.
Someone else is taking care of the veggie, beef and fish dishes. I am not sure right now what recipes they will be sharing. I think we have yet to finalize our appetizer recipe. I don't often make appetizers so my cache of easy appetizer recipes if almost non-existent.
I'm really looking to this. I think it's going to be a lot of fun!!

Mommyhood Tale

Mommyhood Tale

A word of warning first: The following post is not for those whose sensibilities are easily offended. If you continue reading, know that you've been forewarned. LOL!

I put down DD3 for her nap after lunch then I went down to finish up some chores and surf the web.
At about the time for us to get ready to pick up DS from school, I hear DD3 crying.
"She's awake. Just in time, " I thought.
There was no way I could have been prepared for what would greet me as I opened the door to their room.

She was sitting by the door, crying...
Her face and hands and feet covered in brown.
A quick whiff traveled to my nose and I knew what the brown stuff was. I picked her up, careful not to get any of it on me. I quickly put her in the shower and washed her down. Some areas seemed to have dried up already so I'm guessing that she had been at it for a while. She must've cried only when she started to get bored with her little "adventure".
For a brief moment, I stopped and contemplated on getting the camera to capture this catastrophe. Better judgement won out and I continued to scrub her down. Between her toes and fingers, her nape, and yes, even in her ears! It was a major catastrophe indeed!

After I got her all cleaned up, I took a peek at the disaster area of the room and wondered how I was going to get it all cleaned up. It had to wait as I needed to pick up DS. Knowing what was awaiting me back home, I wanted to arm myself with some feel-good snacks. McDonalds to the rescue. The kids were thrilled of course! I consoled myself with a cheeseburger then took a deep breath and tackled the mess.

I patted and picked on the carpet, remembering not to rub. Thank goodness for Lysol disinfecting wipes. It took me a little over an hour patting the areas with wet wipes until no more brown was coming out. Then, patted again with rags to dry the now moist areas. A liberal spray of Lysol finished off the task. Me thinks some deep carpet cleaning is in order though. Will need to put that in the to-do list.

For now, lesson learned... Always keep DD3 in a onesie, with strong snaps at the crotch which she cannot undo. Those bloomers/undies that come with baby dresses are just too easy to take off!

Not for the faint of heart

Not for the faint of heart

Hello! Hello!
We're home now... sleep-deprived(as expected) but we're fine otherwise. This one-hand typing takes time getting used to but I couldn't wait to start getting back online anymore.

First off, thanks for all your congratulations and warm wishes. Thanks to all you bebots. Can't wait to get back to the forums - maybe within the next week or so. Can't wait to get back into scrapping too. But there are just too many things that need more immediate attention now of course so everything that I'd really like to do will have to wait.

Here I am with Angela. This was taken after I had stopped crying and had started to calm down. Maybe I should start from the beginning... but I warn you, read on only if you want to be taken for a thrilling and suspenseful ride! LOL.

If you read back in my previous posts, you'd know that I had been 3 cm dilated for about a week. I did not get to blog about my false alarm. But yes, I had gone to the hospital the day after I was first told that I was 3 cm dilated already. the contractions by then were about 10 minutes apart. When we got to the hospital and hooked up to the monitor, they came at 5 minute intervals. But when the Dr. checked how far along I was, there was no change from the day before. He gave me the option of staying in the hospital, try to walk it out then get rechecked after 2 hours or go back home and come back when the contractions get stronger, etc. We opted to go home. When we got home, everything stopped. No contractions! The next few days, I was having them now and then but nothing regular or strong enough to merit going back to the hospital. On Wednesday, I had another Dr. appt. My Dr. checked if I had progressed... and sure enough - NOTHING!!! No change! Argghh...My Dr. suggested that I start walking around more. He said that the baby's head wasn't wedged yet and the baby was still bobbing up and down. He thought that maybe that was why the cervix wasn't opening up because there was no pressure from the baby.
So, a-walking we went. DH and I walked around the block that evening. Then in the morning, the whole gang - me, DH, my 2 girls and my mom - walked to the park and let the girls loose in the playground. We walked back home in time for lunch. I took a nap. I woke up at about 1:30 pm feeling some contractions and heaviness. The contractions were clearly stronger than before. I timed them and they were starting to come at 10 minute intervals. I woke up DH and he picked up DS from school early so we would not have to worry should we need to go to the hospital already. When they got back home, the contractions were getting stronger. I took a shower. The contractions continued. So at about 3 pm, we drove to the hospital. And we could not have picked a worse time to go - RUSH HOUR traffic at the 10 freeway! Then my water broke! And I started to feel pressure! OMG! It was painful! No, it was excruciating. Then add a whole dose of anxiety and you'd have a clue as to what I was going thru right then. I was trying to breathe thru the pain and not push. It worked for a while but the pain was getting too intense that I kept telling DH to pull over already because I knew the baby was coming out anytime soon. He did not want to pull over. He started driving like a maniac on the shoulder just so we could get through. He was honking his horn, flashing his lights - anything and everything to get us to the hospital. It seemed forever particularly since I could see the exits we were passing and kept thinking, "Oh my God, we're not even close! We just passed Azusa!" DH had called the ER and asked them to make sure a wheelchair was out because he was bringing me in - one of the advantages of working in the ER! LOL! So we got to the hospital. There was no time to park the car. He just stopped right in front of the ambulance area, got the wheelchair, I sat on it and run DH did! He said that for a second he thought of taking me to the ER but decided to run me to labor & delivery. So he was running while I was screaming. Why? Because I could feel the freakin' head coming out!!! When we came out of the elevator, I could feel the baby crowning already. We rounded the corner over to the nurse's station. They had a room right in front. I was barely in the room, still on the wheelchair. They pulled down my pants and everything came gushing out. I tell you, I do not even remember pushing this baby out!!! Yes, I gave birth in the wheelchair!!! Someone was right there to catch the baby, thank goodness! But it was a sea of fluids and blood in the room. I really don't recall anything much of those first few moments because I was just crying and shaking. I was still sitting on the wheelchair, they put the baby on my chest to show me she was okay. I heard her crying. Everyone kept reassuring me the baby was fine and healthy and that we were all doing well. But all I could do was cry and cry and cry. DH cut the baby's cord. The nurses started wiping and cleaning me up. And they led me to the bed which was like a step or two from the wheelchair. They then started me on the IV, I pushed the placenta out, watched my baby getting cleaned and listened to her cry. They had to stitch me up down there because I had some tears but the worst was over! And boy was I glad and thankful to God that everything turned out well. This here is my little angel who could not wait to enter this world. And she wanted to come out in a dramatic way no less! LOL.
I've had fairly quick labors before but this one takes the cake. It took less than 3 hours from start to finish. Contractions started becoming regular at 2 pm. We left for the hospital at 3 pm. By 3:40 pm, she was out! How's that for a speedy delivery?!
DH brought the other kids over later that evening and this was our traditional family photo with the new baby picture.

*This post was written over 2 days, in between nursing and diaper changes, napping and snacking. I still have a lot to write but those will have to wait as I have to get back to mommy duties. I hope to write back soon - because I really do not want to forget these thoughts and feelings I have. I know that later on, I'd be glad that I took time to write them.

Presenting...

Presenting...

ANGELA
born: 1/18/2007, 3:40 pm
8 lbs, 19.1 inches

*pictures (and dramatic birth story) to follow. We're still in the hospital. Just sneaking in here to share with you the good news! I'm using the hospital computer. I hope I don't get caught! LOL!

Baby shower

Baby shower

Some friends from the community threw me a baby shower last night. It was really sweet of them. Wasn't really expecting one since this is baby #4, and everyone's been really busy and all. But on Tuesday, they called and asked if we were available on Friday for a baby shower. I checked with DH and he didn't have to work so the date was set. I was especially touched that people actually came despite the short notice! My SIL was the only single woman there. It may have thrown her off a bit but she's such a trooper so I know she was ok with it. She took care of the games, and the games were fun! Thanks girlie! Oh, and the hubbies were there too. Since everyone else was married with kids, the shower got to be a small party. The hubbies joined us in the games and the kids played on their own. In all, I think everyone had a great time. Here are some photos!
This was the first game - pass the pacifier down the line using only the chopstick in the mouth. It was fun! We had to hold our giggles and laughs though to keep those chopsticks in our mouths.





The sweet girls who threw me the shower.



Me and some of my "loot"! My baby gets new stuff and not just hand-me-downs! Whoopee!


A nice snapshot of SIL and I.


Yes, this was taken last night, not on Christmas! We were getting ready to go home already. We've gotten into the habit of getting the kids in their jammies before heading for home. It makes for a much easier time when we get home. The kids usually fall asleep in the car. And since they're all in jammies with teeth brushed already, we just carry them to bed and everything is well.

Etcetera...etcetera...etcetera

Etcetera...etcetera...etcetera

Got so many things on my mind I want to write about...they're totally unrelated...but if I don't write them soon, I'll forget or worse, they will occupy my mind for days to come!

1. My Christmas present
Dex surprised me with an afternoon at the Spa. He had conned me to go to Pasadena. We were supposedly going to visit Tito Rey & Tita Nine de Castro whom we had not visited in a while. Nothing unusual with that. But on our way there, tita Nine(it was actually Dex using the other cellphone) called to say that they were going somehere for a little while and will be back at about 4 pm. Dex said we'll just go window shop on Downtown Pasadena to kill time. When we got there, Dex led the way and we entered an alley. In the alley was a doorway with the sign "BurkeWilliams Spa". To my surprise, he had booked me an appointment there! It was such a thrill.

My appointment started with a milk bath. Luxurious, huh! After my bath, I went inside their "Quiet Room" where there were "stalls" that you can lay back in while listening to the calming sounds of water cascading from a fountain. Lights were dimmed of course. Then, a massage therapist led me to a private room for my pregnancy massage. Ano yun?! Well, instead of laying on my stomach, which I cannot obviously do, I laid on my side. There was a pillow, something like a body pillow but much firmer, that I straddled between my legs. Haaayyy... the massage was heavenly. If not for the therapist telling me to switch sides in the middle of the session, I would have surely fallen asleep! I could have lain there forever! Alas, time was up. I went back to the spa area. There, I was called in for my facial. Ooohh... I discovered I was in for a full spa facial. This meant that aside from the usual facial procedure, I was also going to have my hands dipped in paraffin wax. I was also going to have a scalp, neck, shoulders, arm and foot massage! How great was that! Again, it was another hour of pure luxury! By the time Dex and the kids picked me up, I was just ready to go to bed and sleep.

That night, I slept like a baby. Dex took care of the kids. When we got home, I changed into my jammies, creeped into bed and dozed off.

Isn't my husband great?

2. Gab and her baby doll
Santa gave Gabrielle a baby doll for Christmas. And she adores the little thing! It came with a stroller and a baby bottle. Her baby has gone everywhere with her. Last night, as I tucked her into bed, she was carrying the baby. I took the doll and laid it beside her. Gab would not have any of that. She wanted to hold the baby in her arms! So, that's how they went to bed, in each other's arms.

We actually thought of the baby doll as a present to prepare Gab for her coming sibling. Hopefully, this is a good sign.

3. Motherhood
In the homily of the Fr. John in Today's Mass, he mentioned that children get their morality from their mothers. He said that this was why the prophets were so hard on women. They(the prophets) knew that if the mothers wold get lax with the discipline, society's morals would deteriorate.

This just got me thinking. Motherhood is truly a big responsibility. I'm sure children learn their values from both parents and are influenced by outside forces. But I know too that my children are always watching me, imitating me. Right now, I am the biggest influence in their lives. I actually see myself in their actions - the way they speak, their mannerisms, the way they handle frustration, the way they vent their anger. It is amazing how they pick up on even the smallest thing.

It scares me to think that my imperfect self will have so much impact on such an innocent child. I suppose this is where grace comes in. I cannot be perfect. I can only pray for the grace to be the best mother that I can be to my children.