Learning to color *outside* the lines

Learning to color *outside* the lines

That's where I am right now. I want to learn to color outside the lines. I want to break free from my fear of making mistakes. I often feel that I am hindered by this fear - that I am hesitant to try new things, explore new adventures, step out into the unknown because I am afraid to fail, afraid I'd look like a fool.

Perhaps it is my personality? Perhaps it was the way I was raised? Perhaps because I am the eldest child? I really do not need to know how or where this fear came from. It is most probably from a mix of factors. All I know is that I want to overcome this and more importantly, I want to spare my children from this fear.

I am the type of person who sticks by the rules. I prefer to blend in rather than stand out. If I could test run everything new I get into, I would to make sure I don't make a mistake. But I'm learning that I am locking myself in a box unnecessarily. The lines I've surrounded myself in? Well, my world does not end when I step out of them. Or when I let my kids step out of them. Who says we can't wear mismatched funny t-shirts and outfits? Who says we can't sing when we're out of tune? Who says we need to dance using the "right" steps?

As I watch my children color the grass pink, the girl's hair purple, with their crayon markings all over the page, I have to smile and whisper to myself, "I can learn to see the world with their eyes too. Soon, I will learn to color outside the lines too."