Martha...Martha...

Martha...Martha...

We went to receive the sacrament of Reconciliation last week. It was Fr. Jerry who heard our confession and he was very thorough in giving me advice. I really felt that the Lord was speaking to me through him. I am grateful.

One of the things that Fr. Jerry pointed out was that it seemed to him that I was being Martha, the sister who would not stop doing things instead of Mary who was content on being with Jesus. I've been thinking about that a lot. I have been extremely busy this year but that is to be expected right? I have been caring for a baby and home schooling my 4 other children. Is there any other option except busy? However, I have been feeling an ache in my heart, a longing for something deeper. I have been praying regularly but something does not feel right. Could it be my attitude towards this time? Has prayer become one of the things I need to check off my to-do list instead of a time to just be with my God?

I've found myself distracted sometimes. I know that there've been times when I'm praying but my eyes seem to constantly check the wenger watches to make sure that I don't go beyond my scheduled time because I have a full and busy day. I've confessed those times and hope I do better.

Fr. Jerry commented that I should find time to slow down, that even 1 hour to sit and do something I love will do wonders for me. He said that it may not seem productive but the fruits are seen in other areas of my life. When I slow down, I will find that I will be more relaxed and find joy. It was as if a light bulb lit in my head! I've neglected my creative pursuits this year. I've put them aside thinking that they were not important and could be put on hold while I live this busy life. I realize now that I was wrong. My creative side is part of who I am. To deny its expression was to stunt my growth in that area. It's as if I was blocked and could not move forward as a whole being.

In my photography and scrapbooking, I was finding the beauty in my life. It led me to be more connected to my Creator. There was a natural flow. Nothing was forced. I need that back in my life.

I have decided to embark on my Project 365/Project Life once more. I'm excited! I don't know how much scrapbooking I will do aside from my Project Life but I'm taking it a step at a time. I'm committing myself to a picture a day. When inspiration strikes, I may scrapbook it. If it doesn't, it's fine too.

I hope that giving time to my creative interests will give me a more balanced life. It will be my way of being like Mary, basking in the Lord's presence while I continue to be Martha, busy attending to life's responsibilities.