Dreading the Camp

I'm going camping. Yes, me. Camping with the Cub Scouts. And I am not happy. I don't like camping. I've managed to avoid coming to any of the other family camping trips the past 3 years DS has been involved with Scouts. I'm not so lucky this time.

When information about this resident camp arrived earlier this year, we knew instantly that DH would NOT be able to take DS. It's 4 days! It starts on Sunday and ends on Wednesday. DH's intense fellowship schedule just would not allow him to take off for those days. DS understood the situation and was not expecting anything.

BIL offered to take DS. Woohoo. BIL to the rescue... not! He backed out saying that he could not get those days off from work after all. He informed us of this 2 weeks ago. Everything's been paid for. DS has been looking forward to it. DH refuses to let DS go without a relative so that leaves me. The mommy who hates camping. The mommy who will be going to a camp where most of the boys are coming with their dads. This was supposed to be chance for father and son bonding. Sigh...

Of course, I can always insist on not going. DS will understand. He knows I don't like camping. He will be sad if he can't go but he'll be fine. But can a mommy's heart bear to intentionally bring disappointment to her son's heart? And with no compelling reason? sigh... so you see I have a choice but it's really not a choice. Would I really let my selfishness get in the way of my son's happiness?

So here I am, a few days from Sunday. I've been stressed out over it. I've had bouts of panic. This is way beyond my comfort zone. I've been emotionally eating as well. Another big sigh. This is definitely not my way of how to lose weight fast. SIL drops lbs when she's stressed. I put them on. ARGH!

Include me in your prayers. Pray that I am still alive when the camp ends on Wednesday. LOL! More than survival, I pray that despite my personal feelings, my son and I will have a beautiful time together.