Reflection of a Murderer

Reflection of a Murderer

I read this in our church bulletin. Don't know why I am drawn to it. It has struck a chord in me and I'm still trying to figure it out.
These thoughts are by Jacques Fesch (died in 1957) who experienced conversion before his execution in a French prison.

To do well, one should accept everything that happens and keep one's balance despite the contingencies of this world. Only it is very difficult; one needs an iron will, and one often falls flat on one's face. But even from a fall, one can learn something, if only humility, and the futility of one's efforts. One could say that the Lord plays cat and mouse with us. In some cases, he allows us to proceed effortlessly, with a smile; then with brutal swiftness, success disappears down the drain, no longer to be found anywhere.

The only indestructible things which last are the memory of what one has had, and the certitude of what is. And in truth, life is most beautiful this way. We swing from the heights and depths, from rebellion to submission, and at each moment, there is the possibility of total forgiveness. The only real unhappiness is to remain indifferent and tepid, as I used to be... You see, I am often annoyed and wearied when peopole say that the change which has been effected in me has taken place on a purely human level...My life is one complete whole.

We consent to the evil of the years, and nothing happens! Without being aware of our diminishing freedom, our body grows feeble and our will atrophies. Generations continue, ever transmitting a little more of their decay, until the day when the evil becomes so much a part of the individual that he can no longer act freely and is caught up and swept along in the destructive current.

It is at this point that a man discovers grace!