A fruitful vine

A fruitful vine

*Those of you who have been reading my blog, you'd know that I faced this current pregnancy with a lot of anxiety and apprehension. I was having a really difficult time with it. And because I refused to pray and spend time with my God for such a long time, I'm finding it hard now to get back into that mode and spend some quiet time with Him. Fortunately, God is sooo good that He never fails to do all that it takes to reach out and pull me back in. I was at Costco one day, browsing thru some books, trying to gather some ideas for Christmas gifts when I saw this book: 100 Most Important Bible Verses for Mothers. I picked it up and thought it looked interesting so I bought it. And God's been using that to speak to me. After the verse, a short reflection is shared. I open the book to a random page and let that verse speak to me. And the first one I read really hit me hard. It was exactly what I HAD to hear. And I feel it is EXACTLY what the Lord has been wanting to tell me from the very start. I spent 2 weeks reading and re-reading this verse, just letting the truth of it sink in. Till now, it is still deepening its roots in my heart. This is the truth of my life now and I'd like to share it with you*

Psalm 128:3-4 (from The Message bible)
"You will bear children as a vine bears grapes, your household lush as a vineyard, the children around your table as fresh and promising as young olive shoots. Stand in awe of God's Yes. Oh, how he blesses the one who fears God."

Excerpts from the reflection in the book:
"...the comparison was one of the most vivid to represent a home that is healthy, full of life, and full of great things in the future.
It is rare to see homes brimming over with blessings as they were in Bible times.
The Bible says that not only are children a sign of God's blessing, but they represent promise. God views children as living, growing examples of hope to place in your life and around your table. The world will go on, and you are part of that process God allows to continue. His creative reproduction is powerful and yet is given as a blessing to those who love him."

When I read this, something in me clicked. Yeah, I know it isn't something new. In fact, I feel it's become a cliche I've heard over and over again - Each child is a blessing from God. I KNEW that ... but really did not understand it. Sure, they're blessings. But they're also responsibilities. I was told that maybe God gives more children to those He knows will raise them up well. Well, thank you God for the vote of confidence but really, I prefer not to have the extra responsibilities, y'know?

But to see my children as markers of hope and promise in my life was something different. And to see them as concrete signs of God's love for me was not something I had really put together. I always knew He loved me. He told me so. And I would find small expressions of His love through my everyday life. I'd gain insight into God's love for me thru stuff my children say and do too. But I had not, till now, really SEEN and LOOKED at them as THE markers of how much God loves me. He loves me so much that He has given me 4 children! That's a lot of love!!! They represent the promise of God's faithfulness in my life. I don't think I can fully express what great comfort this is to me. I am still at a loss at the beauty and greatness of this truth.

Of course, the reality of raising 4 kids in God's ways is still daunting. I realize my family is in the minority. Most families choose to have smaller families. It just isn't the MOD thing to do and have. Well, I've been called to not conform to this world. And I suppose this is one way that I not "be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2, NASB)"