Looking Back...Looking Ahead

Looking Back...Looking Ahead

As we start a new year, I'd like to take time to look back at the year that was 2004. It was a good year for our family.

It started off with our long-awaited trip back to the Philippines for a brief 3-week vacation in late January. Since coming here to the U.S. in 2000, this was my first trip back to my homeland. And what a homecoming it was! I left a newly-married woman. I came back a veteran mother of 2. What a change, huh? It was a busy vacation. It did not seem enough as there were too many things to do, too many friends to see. In all, it was simply great. I hope it does not take another 4 years before we get to go back.

In April, my daughter Gabrielle celebrated her first birthday. Twas a successful one - a fun one for both kids and adults. It was expecially fulfilling for me because it was the first time I had actually hosted a big party. I cooked most of the food. I had made baked spaghetti, buffalo wings(spicy and regular), pork kebabs (or as we Filipinos call it - barbecue) and leche flan for dessert. The birthday cake was taken care of by her godmothers. We had invited about 50 or so guests.

In June, we made a short trip to Vegas to visit with some relatives. 2 of my mom's sisters vacationed there. One of them had never met any of my kids. Since Vegas was just a 3-hour drive from our place, we decided to go even for a brief overnight stay. A cousin and her friends had driven over too. It was fun.

July till about August were kinda bleary. We found out we were pregnant. It was news I was not ready to accept. It took a while before I came out of denial. Those were dark days for me. Emotionally, I was in disarray. Guilt was also washing over me. Guilt for not accepting the pregnancy as happily as I thought I should have. This was/is a gift of life. This baby deserves more than the emotional angst I was having. It took a lot of days and nights in tears and prayers before I could announce my pregnancy without bursting into tears. Moments of solitude in the confines of our church, before the Blessed Sacrament, were a lot of help. Just as I was embracing my pregnant state, I found out I had gestational diabetes. This meant I had to go on a diet of no sugar! Pregnant...on a diet...with limited access to starch and sugar? For those who have been pregnant, you'll probably agree with me that this is torture! Anyway, I'm surviving. I cheat once in a while. I just make sure I stick strictly to the diet about a week before I go to my check-ups!

October brought some laughter into our home. My parents came over from the Philippines. My mom's 2 siblings came to visit too. They stayed for about 3 weeks. It was a hectic time but something I really cherish. I love family. Being away from them makes me cherish even more the snippets of time I get to spend with them - any of them. I come from a rather large extended family. I think it's quite normal for Filipino famillies.

Now come 2005. What can I look forward to in 2005? What do I wish for? What am I praying for?

I am due on March 7th, although I expect to deliver before then. I was 2 weeks ahead with my son and 1 week ahead with my daughter so my trend seems to be delivering before my actual due date. I pray to have a normal and healthy baby. I pray that I have a relatively easy and painless delivery. I pray for my daughter that she adjusts well to the coming of the new baby.

My mom is coming once more in February to help me for about a month. She is so great. It is such a blessing when she's here. I have my mom. My kids have their lola(that's Filipino for "grandma").

We're having a sliding door installed that will open to our small back patio. That's something I'm lookin forward to.

We're also planning to get a bigger vehicle to accommodate our growing family. This is not something I am looking forward to.

Miguel will be entering preschool in September. I'm excited about that. I hope he does well. I'm sure he will. We "study" at home so I'm not really worried about his academics or anything. I'm putting him into preschool more for socialization and to prepare him for kindergarten in terms of structure, etc.

We're also awaiting word on my hubby's application for the PA (Physician's Asst.) program. We should be hearing something soon. He'll start in the fall too when things move accdg to plans.

My main concern is finances! If you notice my above list, they are all expenses. Boo-hoo... and when hubby starts school, he will have to move to part-time at work. Increased expenses + cut back in pay = money worries. This year will probably mean a lot of creative budgeting and belt-tightening moves. But I trust that the Lord will not abandon us. He has always been good to our family. He will provide for our needs.

I am looking forward to the year ahead. I am sure it will be a roller-coaster ride. There will be ups. There will be drops. There will be unexpected turns. There will be things that will take us for a loop. But at the end of the ride, I'm sure I am bound to say, "That was one exhilirating trip!"